What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
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