I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Randomize
