i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
