You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
