Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
