hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Boobs speak an international language.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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