Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
