her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
