College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
