I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
