That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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