its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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