The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
