Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
