Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
