There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
