I've blown a few things in my day
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
