marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
where are you?
Hypothermia
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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