Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
