I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
