you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
