Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't think brook has ever known best
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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