Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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