Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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