Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
