I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
