This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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