I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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