everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
