Dual....:-)
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
