bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
