wanna go halves on a baby?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
