I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
