i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
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