i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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