so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
