My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
