Me too!
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
