Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
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