Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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