I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
