i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
