Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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