I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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