well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
