Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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