please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I am available for nakedness
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
