don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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