The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
