I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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